Thoughts on World Twisting

foggy ledgeSo it hardly seemed fair to ask a question yesterday and not give you my thoughts in response – and I welcome yours in comments. So again, If you could influence others  – for good or for ill without them being able to resist it, would you?

We all do this everyday whether we mean to or not – which Erik, the author of the article pointed out, as well. But I try to impose my will on others as little as possible…I think?

My basic stance in life is to live the way I live and leave others free to live as they wish. I’m not the preachy sort and I rarely lay down a strong opinion about politics, religion or other hot-button topics unless asked by someone directly one on one. Rarely, not never. Sometimes what I see as injustice goes far enough that I can’t be silent. If you cross that line with me, watch out! My soft kitten paws may lash out at greed and cruelty with lion claws.

But you can see my true, Live and let Live, in my assortment of diverse friends with diverse interests, and even in my home life. No Honey-do lists – He does him, and I do me…together. It works well for us since we truly love each other for who we are. My house looks different in many ways than it would if I lived alone, so although most of the décor items are ‘mine,’ he is very present in presentation, etc. I am always open to his changes and his mode of caretaking.

I share my thoughts and ideas, and I have reasons why I believe them, but I have no bias or basis on which to consider my thoughts more Right than yours. So I think any influence I have on you is with your volunteer interest in letting my ideas dive into your pool of potential beliefs.

However, when I got a severe cold and my voice lost it’s tonal control, I learned how much I influence my clients with my tone every day on the job. I’m an insurance agent (as well as an author) and I do a lot of service by phone. When my voice was gravel, no one would trust me. I would tell them the same reasons why their rate went up, or recommend the same great policy or coverage features and they wouldn’t buy it – literally and figuratively. My voice tone apparently influences others to believe I have their best interests at heart (which I do) or at least that I know what I’m talking about. And although I was still being factual and honest when sick, without that voice influence, my knowledge and honesty were not affective. Therefore I learned I am influencing others – perhaps somewhat against their will. Their wills made other choices without my tonal guidance. Very interesting…

3 thoughts on “Thoughts on World Twisting”

  1. It is interesting, Sheri! We often think of influence as overt or negative. But a smile at a stranger that earns a return smile is a form of influence. So is excitement about a book or movie that sways others to give it a go, or watching a sunset in a way that makes others stop to watch it as well. Laughter is contagious, right? A form of influence. I think we’re always giving off cues, and as social beings, we pick up on others’ cues and then decide how we will respond or not respond. All fun, isn’t it? I could write a book about it. 🙂 So keep influencing in kind, open, non-judgmental ways; it seems to be working great!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The purity of intent – actual Purity not singularity- is the important factor in the ethics of influence, perhaps. As you point out, we do it all the time, so no getting around it. I of course hope I’m spreading positive things, I just really don’t like the idea of telling someone how they should be. That whole ‘should’ thing goes down badly with me. And thank for your final words, and same to you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, The purty of intent is extremely powerful. More important than the resulting action. I agree completely! “The ethics of influence.” It makes me laugh, but so true. I prefer to spread around the positive too. It makes room for good things to grow. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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